"they say..."

Ever since I became pregnant for Henry this phrase was constantly spewing from my mouth. I'm not sure when exactly it started, but I am thinking that it was the first time Scott thought he knew more about pregnancy than I did. Any book I read, idea I came across, or absurd story I heard that I even remotely identified with, was then conveyed to my husband starting with the phrase "they say..."

Does spouting an idea prefaced by "they say" make it more believeable? Who I am trying to convince, my husband or just myself? I find that I usually throw out this coined phrase when I know Scott will question the statement I am going to make. And if for some reason I forget to start with it, his quizical look after I make my case quickly prompts the follow up "at least that is what I've heard (and the optional 'they say' can also be included)."

At one point Scott said to me, "Who is 'they'? You say that all of the time and I really don't know who you are talking about." I realized at this point that although I do say "they" often, he was obviously focusing on the wrong portion of my ramblings. I was quick to assure him that "they" are doctors, magazines or anyone else that confirms any weird and outlandish thoughts/ideas I have. Whoever "they" is isn't important, the rest of the babble is.

After going through this conversation again the other night, because yes, I'm still starting most sentences with this phrase, I realized that I even think it to myself. This morning, for example, I was making my bed and found two things in it that could raise 'their' suspicions.

The first I had put there and I had put him there on purpose. If I want one more hour of sleep, or if I just want to get ready for work without two little blue eyes watching my every move, this is the way it has to be. I don't think that it matters "they say you shouldn't encourage co-sleeping once your child hits a certain age or it will become a habit". I love that last hour, or when his little arms smack me in the face during his first morning stretch. Maybe I'll regret it when he is 8 and still in our bed for an hour every morning, but "they say you should enjoy them while they're young!"

The second thing I found though was really what spurred my thinking and this post. As I flipped the covers up, this small sock was revealed. I know that it isn't mine, or Scott's, it has to be Henry's. So why is it in our bed? Maybe because our bed has become his changing table, his napping place, and an additional play spot. Our friends made the comment that you could tell Henry had taken over the house. I shared this comment with Scott as we got ready that night and cleared our bed of a small pair of sweat pants, a stuffed dog and a box of wet wipes. We decided we had no idea what they were talking about!

So...'they say' you should keep your bedroom free of child things so that it remains an adult room, a place for just you and your husband. But is this really something to believe? Our bedroom has become a place that Henry crashes on Sunday mornings before we all get up, or before dinner as we change our clothes. It is where we snuggle after his bath, or lay any time just to watch the ceiling fan spin. All of those moments I would never give up or change, so at what point do you have to question what 'they say'?

I guess that is really the point. 'They say' is just a cover for "I'm not sure what to think about this but other people think that..." Do you believe the so called experts, or motherly instinct that feels right. It shouldn't matter what 'they say' only what I say! I try to tell that to my husband too, but his response is "they say...you should keep your mind open to what others have to say!"