"Beautiful the mess we are / the honest prayers of the breaking hearts / ... / Better than a hallelujah"
Yes, we are still here.
One post a month is not like me, but I haven't felt a lot like me lately either. This song by Amy Grant is playing a lot, and has hit very close to home. Although I have not been blogging, it isn't due to lack of things going on! It just seems like most days there is too much going on, too many people that need God's healing hand, too many relationships that are struggling, too many days that there is just not enough time to get it all done. I would say I'm not complaining, but in all honesty I have been doing too much of that as well.
With all of this going on, the one thing that there has not been too much of is time with God. Most of my spiritual time has been in listening to our local Christian radio station, and more times that I can count the song I turn on has been right on target. Forgiveness, healing, love and my beautiful mess. But in this all, today was the day God met me where I was. In addition to Amy Grant's song, the other one includes the line "so long self..." My bible reading led me to this passage today and I was not even looking for it. No wonder I haven't been feeling like myself, I needed to put my selfish ways behind and look for God in everything.
Today God was there when Henry woke up from a bad dream that left us sleeping together on the floor in his room after almost an hour calming and "spider searching".
Today God showed me that my things are not as important as the "needs" of my children as I cut open the bottom of my sofa to get out the missing matchbox cars.
Today God led me to passages about forgiveness, marriage, parenting and unconditional love that I was able to read from a new perspective.
So my theme for life is going to be Living a Beautiful Mess. God has a plan for us and right now it is messy, it probably will always appear to be that way (at least from my perspective). However, it will be beautiful in His eyes if I keep my eyes on Him.